Don't Look Down.

I haven't written in a while but today there is this strong urge to pencil something down. We live in a time where so much wants to bring us down. The waves of life's stormy sea seem to pull us in no matter how we try to stand and just waddle through, if we could. I want to talk about something I am almost sure you have heard about countless times. I know every one tells you not to give up, not to throw in the towel and to keep on. I just want to tell you that your position when things happen is very important.

When life throws you a curve you didn't see coming, Don't look down. When your parents tell you that you were the mistake that should never have happened, Don't look down. When your loved ones take a peek into eternity and decide that they are better off there than here, Don't look down. When those grades don't seem to take you higher, Don't look down. When your heart is losing strength and you can literally feel that you might just lose the little ounce of sanity that remains, Don't look down.


For the place of 'Down' is despair, horror, fear, hopelessness and turmoil. It has written on its surface the lies and deceptions of the enemy. Who you are is not 'Down'. You are seated with Christ UP! Far above principalities and powers. Choose the better position and look up. For 'Down' is a pit that will drown your strength and happiness. It is the abode of desperation and fear. That is what happens Down! Up however, is the place of victory. It is where triumph is. Jesus ascended up! Up is where you are meant to be. Don't look down.

"We must never stop looking to Jesus. He is the leader of our faith, and he is the one who makes our faith complete..." Hebrews 12:2 (ERV)

"I look up to the hills, but where will my help really come from? My help will come from the Lord, the Creator of heaven and earth."  Psalm 121:1-2 (ERV)

What if I Caused His Death?

Life is so fragile, our decisions are important.

I was to run an errand for my mum which required me taking slides to another hospital. She wanted me to go on Monday but I preferred to go on Tuesday because I told her I had not prepared to go that distance that day. Later that evening, she called and told me that I shouldn't bother taking the slides to the hospital because the patient had died.

The first thing that came to my heart was that my refusal to go on Monday was what led to his death and I asked my mum if it would have been different if I had gone on Monday. She said the patient died earlier in the week but she didn't know because she was out of the hospital for a few days. This got me thinking.

What if I was responsible for the death because I was negligent or I postponed the errand just for my comfort? Thank God it did not play out this way but I realized that my decisions may sometimes not affect me but it could affect the next person close to me. I realized how important my decisions can be. Sometimes, decisions can be a life or death situation. The more we know this, the more careful we are about matters and issues. This is a short post because I am quite saddened by the young boy's death.

We need to learn responsibility and learn to weigh matters carefully. Do not postpone today's task till tomorrow. Do not trivialize what should be prioritized. Let's learn to seek God over our decisions and be sure that we are doing the right thing. We do not always get it right all the time but do your best to do the right thing the next time. Your decisions have consequences and the wrong ones bring you pain. God bless you!

Rachael (8)

Rachael and Emmanuel sat in silence. The silence was quite loud but it held some kind of presence that made her comfortable. She could hear the crickets and the soft wind rustle the trees. "You need to tell me all that happened to you. I can help you if you would just talk to me." He said calmly. Rachael stared at the wall, like she was lost. She then realized that she never really talked to anyone about her matters except with Toyosi or Eric. Eric passively listened to her and she stopped talking to him about deep stuffs that bothered her. Toyosi on the other hand, always seemed not have a clue when it came to Rachael's needs. Toyosi was just a girl who lived and understood life the way she chose to understand it. She never seemed to know past her immediate circumstance and so talking to Toyosi was like telling someone your problem and all the person does is to reiterate them again to you and sympathize.

It then dawned on her why opening up to Emmanuel was such an ordeal. She never really spoke to anyone not even her mother. Her mother was not the person who could understand her issues or so she thought. She looked at Emmanuel and took a deep breath and narrated her story. She told him everything up until the murder she had witnessed. As she spoke, she literally felt like a weight was carried from her shoulders. She began to tell him how much resentment she carried inside her because she felt life was unfair to her. She wanted more but her mother could only give her little. She turned to Eric because he was her escape route away from her deep seated fears and anger. She wanted to be somebody, she wanted more but now she felt so empty and useless. Her life was being ripped apart. "I feel so ashamed, confused, angry and let down. I have always thought that I could handle anything. I thought I was a tough girl, I thought I was in control. As it turns out, I am no longer in control. In fact, maybe I never was in the first place."

Emmanuel looked at her and she was amazed at how concerned he was about her. He had just met her and he had gone out of his way to make her comfortable. He held her palm in his hands and said, "I can help you through this. I just want you to allow me help you. The things you think you can fight are a whole lot bigger than you. There is so much you don't know. You really don't know Eric. Well, I am glad you saw for yourself what he is capable of but that is only a part of the picture. Eric is assigned to you. He is assigned to pull you down. He is assigned to ensure you do not fulfil God's plan for you. He is to ensure that no matter what happens. you and I would never meet." Rachael stared at him. She was trying to understand what he meant by "assigned". He stood up to leave. She watched him walk to the door. He looked back and smiled. "If the devil had known, he would not have crucified the Lord of glory." She had heard that before but couldn't place it. "What do you mean?" He turned the knob of the door and opened, With his his back to her, he replied, "You will understand it better by and by dear." With that, he walked out the door. She didn't know when she fell asleep. For the first time in years she fell asleep in peace. So much peace that she felt she could touch it.

"We would have to pray hard for Rachael, the battle has only begun." David said to Marian who was still recovering from the shock she had received from David's confession. Her daughter was in trouble. She felt weak and fell on her knees and began to sob and began to pray in the spirit. As Emmanuel walked to his own room, light began to shine. The whole room was aglow. Time seemed to stand still as even the air waited for him to pass through. As he opened the door to his room, a man dressed in white suit was waiting for him. He had a smile on his face. Emmanuel understood the reason for the joy that radiated on his face. "Rachael has come home." Emmanuel nodded with a smile. "Yes Gabriel, she has" The room kept glowing and songs of praise were chorused. It was the most beautiful rendition ever.

Rachael (7)

Marian was shocked that David would come to see her. If he wanted to see his daughter, today was a bad day. Rachael had been missing for some hours now and nobody could ascertain where she was. David stared at Marian with a very piercing gaze. He could see she was tired. He was ashamed to be in her living room after over seventeen years. He had not done well in treating her. Looking at her now, he felt remorse. God had to have a plan in this. He turns all things to work for our good. He had a strong impression that morning to look for her and he did not know that his efforts would pay off quickly.

'I am sorry to barge in on you unannounced. I just felt deeply that I had to see you. I asked your friend Margaret for your address. I guessed that you would still communicate with her. She was the only friend I remembered." He said with calmness picking his words one at a time. Marian was still trying to come to terms with the fact that David was sitting in her living room than she was actually listening to him. "What can I do for you?" She asked because she felt that was the only logical thing to say. "First, I want to apologise for the past... We were young, I should have taken responsibility of what I had done but there are some things I will be opening up to you that might shock you, so I want you to please prepare yourself..." He said and licked his lips and rubbed his palms together. That was what he did when he was nervous. She excused herself to get him a cup of water. She drank a glass full herself before bringing a tray with a bottle of water for him. This would be a long night.

"Marian, you are more special than you give yourself credit for. I was working for someone all the while I was with you. We were charged with various objectives but more so, we were charged to some specific women who you can describe as divinely special. You could call it a cult or a group of people who had some twisted ideas but we worked for 'The Boss'. You have a godly father who did not always get things right but it was more of your grandmother, your Father's mother. From the day you were born, she had covenanted you to God and never stopped praying for you. That was what made you special. You had a mission to the world and we needed to stop it. I was sent to get you out of safety. We inflicted poverty so that you will find solace in a rich young guy like me. I was supposed to ensure that you did not get to do that task, Getting you pregnant was one way but you met someone you should not have met and messed up the plan. You met Emmanuel..." Marian's eyes were wide open in shock.

Eric woke up and felt his body on the cold hard ground. He had failed but he planned to make it better. If Rachael was with Emmanuel. he would have to draw her out. He would have to find her weak spot and pull her out. He would not fail. He would have to fulfil the mission, even if he died doing it. 'The Boss' watched him from across the room. His eyes were still very red and Eric pulled himself up."I will bring her to you no matter what it takes."

Rachael (6)

Rachael woke up and wondered how she got to the bed. She felt light headed and realised that she had not eaten anything in the last few hours. She stifled a yawn and looked at the window. It was quite dark. She wondered what time it was but she could guess it was quite late. She heard a knock on the door and jerked in surprise. "Come in." She sat up and waited wondering who was coming in. Emmanuel worked in with a tray of food. "You dozed off after your prolonged silence. I brought you in here and prepared you something to keep your energy up. It used to be your mum's favourite." He brought the tray to her and she accepted it with a smile.

The way he talked about her mother amazed her. She knew her mother's friends but this man was strange. She had never met him and he had never visited if he did, she would recall his face. She opened the covered plate and saw a steaming plate of yam and egg with bottled water beside it. It was her mum's favourite food and now she knew more than ever that this man knew her mother. She took the fork and took a bite. It was the best yam and egg she had ever had. As she enjoyed the taste of the food in her mouth, she remembered Emmanuel's insinuation of her pregnancy and dropped her fork. "How do you know I am pregnant?" "Like I said, I know these things... Besides, I think it is time for you to start doing things right. First, you need to know that your life is really not yours in the first place. You never authored it and you can't finish it."

Rachael was still. Her appetite suddenly vanished. What could she do to turn the hands of time and make things better? "Why do you resent your mother Rachael?" The man looked at her intently and it was like he was staring into her soul. "I feel my mother sees me as the mistake she made and because I remind her so much of her errors, she seeks to turn the hands of time in her life by bothering me, I sometimes blame her for bringing me into the world unprepared, I had to go through school feeling inferior without a father and not been able to stand with my rich mates hurt me so much and I blamed her. I blamed her every single day." At this point, Rachael allowed her tears to flow unhindered.

Eric was restless. He had combed the area and no one seemed to know where Rachael went. He was worried that Rachael would do something stupid and he would have no choice but deal with her. His phone rang and when he saw it was his father who was calling, he ignored and laid down on the bed. His mind imagined what Rachael was doing now or who she was talking to. Any word from her would be his downfall. She did not go home at all and now everyone was frantic looking for her. Then there was The Boss. He had been working with him for quite sometime. Eric was in charge of the locality where he lived. The Boss had specifically asked him to ensure that Rachael stayed within his embrace. The girl was too hurt at home and that was what he used as a platform to get her within their grip. They had a mission. They had to corrupt "The Sent Ones".

When Rachael and her mom moved into the locality, The Boss had told  Eric about how much Rachael would be valuable to them. They needed to get her. The Boss told him of how David had failed in his task to secure Marian. Rachael must be secured. His plans were going on smoothly till she found him murder someone in cold blood. The lights suddenly went off and came back on within seconds. There was a knock on the door. Eric opened. The Boss walked in. That was the darkest suit Eric had ever set eyes on. He looked into his eyes. His eyes were burning red. He stumbled. He had been hit. He had failed. He held his chest. He fell on his knees. He had failed. The look on The Boss' face said it all. "She is with Emmanuel, you incompetent fool!" The room went black.

Rachael (5)

Toyosi was worried. Eric had barged into her house demanding to see Rachael but she told him that Rachael had not come by her house at all. The call from Marian had made her more nervous. Where could Rachael be? It was unusual for her to disappear without her letting someone know of her whereabouts. Toyosi was more worried that Rachael and Eric must have gotten into a fight because Eric's face was not a friendly one when he came to the house. Rachael didn't hold her cell phone and so no one could reach her. The last time she saw Eric's face like that was when she saw him beat up a young man on the street. She had since then known that Eric was a dangerous guy but Rachael was too blind to see the signs. She tossed from side to side on her willing sleep to come but she could not shake the feeling that Rachael was in some big trouble and more scary was that she felt strongly that Rachael was alone.

Marian had called everyone she could call that could tell her about the whereabout of her daughter but no one seemed to know. People had help comb the streets looking for Rachael but no one had seen her except in the early hours of the morning when she cleaned the shop and opened it up for business. Marian had called her Pastor who had advised that she get the police involved. Marian had her own troubles in life but she greatly feared that Rachael was living the same life she did. She sat down exhausted mentally and physically. Pastor promised to alert church folks so they can be on the look out for Rachael.

Marian's mind journeyed back to when she first discovered she was pregnant. She was so afraid of telling her father that she ran out of the house. She knew that her father was literally going to kill her. He barely had enough for both of them and now she was going to add another child into the already tight corner. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her. She had no idea where she was going to but she kept running. Then a car pulled up in front of her. It was an elderly man with a cream coloured senegalese outfit. He bent his neck so he could see her through the passenger's window. His smile calmed her down but she was nervous at the same time. "Where are you going young lady?" He asked."I don't know where yet but I just want to get out of here as fast as possible." The man opened the door and she slid in. He drove off and then she dozed off.

A knock woke her from her reverie and she stood quickly to open the door. Standing at the door was a young man. He really hadn't changed much. Still rugged in his look and stern. What was he doing in her house? She then realized that her mouth had been opened for some time. She hadn't seen him in 17 years and there he was standing in front of her out of no where. "David." She let out his name with a deep breath. "Hello, Marian. Long time, no see". The father of her child had come to her house. Things couldn't get more strange.

Rachael (4)

She woke up with a splitting headache. As she struggled to make out where she was, she could hear the sounds of birds. She raised herself up and sat up. The room was basically bare but neat. It was painted in sky blue and there was a table and chair opposite the bed with a small book shelf hanging on the wall with unevenly arranged books. The bed was quite soft and she knew she must have slept for a very long time. Where was this place? She stood up from the bed and tried opening the door. It was not locked. She saw that the passage was long with two doors on each side. She saw that the passage had a door at the end which was opened and she walked towards the opened door. It led to a small garden. She met Emmanuel seated on a wooden chair reading a book. It was quite dark but the security lights were on. The lights gave the beautiful flowers planted in the garden  a warm feel and made the garden more beautiful.


Had she been kidnapped? What was this man's interest in her that made him bring her into his home? She had so many questions to ask him. She moved to where he was seated and asked, "Why did you bring me here?". He looked up from his book and smiled. "Thank goodness, you decided to wake up. This is my house and I thought it was the safest place for you to lay low from whatever or whoever you are running from." "You are alone?" She asked with disbelief. A man his age ought to be married. "It depends on how you look at it. The fact that there are no visible people here now doesn't mean I am alone." He drew a chair to his side and tapped on it indicating she should sit, "Well, care to tell me what happened that made you start running like someone competing for a medal?" She sat and narrated the whole story to him. She felt weird and comfortable at the same time. Here she was in the middle of nowhere talking to a complete stranger. After narrating, she felt the urge to ask "How do you know my mother?" She hadn't forgotten about his admitting to knowing her mother. Strangely, she had never met him before, neither had he come to visit nor did she remember her mother mentioning him to her.

"Well, we should be talking about your safety first but I will tell you that your mother and I go a long way back. But it can be dated to when you were born. Your mother needed my help and I was there to assist. You look a lot like her. She speaks to me everyday about you. I know she cares about you a lot but you really don't care much". Rachael turned away from him and was quiet for awhile wondering how much her mother had told this strange man about her. She bet her mother told him how nasty she was and disobedient, complacent, unchristian and selfish. "My mother and I don't get along well because she always insists on my doing things her way. I am tired of being treated like a child." The man looked at her and smiled. "Then stop acting like one Rachael. You seem to think the world must revolve around you all the time. As much as you are looking out for your own interest doesn't mean your mother isn't. You just fail to see..." He looked up and looked back at her. "Rachael, God is also looking out for your own interest too. You are too self absorbed that you interpret the love others have for you as them being over bearing. Life is beyond the now dear Rachael. You know, your mother had you at eighteen?"

Rachael looked at him and it was as if the man was staring at her soul. She felt too open and she didn't like that at all. "I figured that out already. But that doesn't mean I will get pregnant at my age. I am doing all that is necessary to avoid that. I just don't want her judging me all the time. I am a woman already. I can make my own decisions." She suddenly felt exhausted talking with this man. It was like he was draining her. She felt a sharp pain below her abdomen. The running must be the cause of the pain. Emmanuel smiled. "Well, dear woman who can make decisions, this is where one of your wise decisions has brought you. Plus, you have made the same mistake your mother made. You are pregnant at eighteen." Rachael held her stomach, "What! How dare you insinuate such a thing! I have been very careful. Don't say such ever again. Are you a doctor? How can you conclude without necessary tests?" She was so angry now that she stood up. The man's calmness unnerved her. "You can call me a doctor, I won't deny it. You have been asleep for over six hours. I have helped quite a number of women who were somehow in your situation. Lets just say I know these things." Just then, Rachael remembered that her period was late by three weeks. She sat down slowly on the seat, her hand still clutching her stomach and her mouth open staring blankly at the fence. She was going to be a mother to the child of a killer who was out to kill her too.