Tuesday 25 October 2016

What if I Caused His Death?

Life is so fragile, our decisions are important.
I was to run an errand for my mum which required me taking slides to another hospital. She wanted me to go on Monday but I preferred to go on Tuesday because I told her I had not prepared to go that distance that day. Later that evening, she called and told me that I shouldn't bother taking the slides to the hospital because the patient had died.

The first thing that came to my heart was that my refusal to go on Monday was what led to his death and I asked my mum if it would have been different if I had gone on Monday. She said the patient died earlier in the week but she didn't know because she was out of the hospital for a few days. This got me thinking.

What if I was responsible for the death because I was negligent or I postponed the errand just for my comfort? Thank God it did not play out this way but I realized that my decisions may sometimes not affect me but it could affect the next person close to me. I realized how important my decisions can be. Sometimes, decisions can be a life or death situation. The more we know this, the more careful we are about matters and issues. This is a short post because I am quite saddened by the young boy's death.

We need to learn responsibility and learn to weigh matters carefully. Do not postpone today's task till tomorrow. Do not trivialize what should be prioritized. Let's learn to seek God over our decisions and be sure that we are doing the right thing. We do not always get it right all the time but do your best to do the right thing the next time. Your decisions have consequences and the wrong ones bring you pain. God bless you!

Thursday 22 September 2016

Rachael (8)

Rachael and Emmanuel sat in silence. The silence was quite loud but it held some kind of presence that made her comfortable. She could hear the crickets and the soft wind rustle the trees. "You need to tell me all that happened to you. I can help you if you would just talk to me." He said calmly. Rachael stared at the wall, like she was lost. She then realized that she never really talked to anyone about her matters except with Toyosi or Eric. Eric passively listened to her and she stopped talking to him about deep stuffs that bothered her. Toyosi on the other hand, always seemed not have a clue when it came to Rachael's needs. Toyosi was just a girl who lived and understood life the way she chose to understand it. She never seemed to know past her immediate circumstance and so talking to Toyosi was like telling someone your problem and all the person does is to reiterate them again to you and sympathize.

It then dawned on her why opening up to Emmanuel was such an ordeal. She never really spoke to anyone not even her mother. Her mother was not the person who could understand her issues or so she thought. She looked at Emmanuel and took a deep breath and narrated her story. She told him everything up until the murder she had witnessed. As she spoke, she literally felt like a weight was carried from her shoulders. She began to tell him how much resentment she carried inside her because she felt life was unfair to her. She wanted more but her mother could only give her little. She turned to Eric because he was her escape route away from her deep seated fears and anger. She wanted to be somebody, she wanted more but now she felt so empty and useless. Her life was being ripped apart. "I feel so ashamed, confused, angry and let down. I have always thought that I could handle anything. I thought I was a tough girl, I thought I was in control. As it turns out, I am no longer in control. In fact, maybe I never was in the first place."

Emmanuel looked at her and she was amazed at how concerned he was about her. He had just met her and he had gone out of his way to make her comfortable. He held her palm in his hands and said, "I can help you through this. I just want you to allow me help you. The things you think you can fight are a whole lot bigger than you. There is so much you don't know. You really don't know Eric. Well, I am glad you saw for yourself what he is capable of but that is only a part of the picture. Eric is assigned to you. He is assigned to pull you down. He is assigned to ensure you do not fulfil God's plan for you. He is to ensure that no matter what happens. you and I would never meet." Rachael stared at him. She was trying to understand what he meant by "assigned". He stood up to leave. She watched him walk to the door. He looked back and smiled. "If the devil had known, he would not have crucified the Lord of glory." She had heard that before but couldn't place it. "What do you mean?" He turned the knob of the door and opened, With his his back to her, he replied, "You will understand it better by and by dear." With that, he walked out the door. She didn't know when she fell asleep. For the first time in years she fell asleep in peace. So much peace that she felt she could touch it.

"We would have to pray hard for Rachael, the battle has only begun." David said to Marian who was still recovering from the shock she had received from David's confession. Her daughter was in trouble. She felt weak and fell on her knees and began to sob and began to pray in the spirit. As Emmanuel walked to his own room, light began to shine. The whole room was aglow. Time seemed to stand still as even the air waited for him to pass through. As he opened the door to his room, a man dressed in white suit was waiting for him. He had a smile on his face. Emmanuel understood the reason for the joy that radiated on his face. "Rachael has come home." Emmanuel nodded with a smile. "Yes Gabriel, she has" The room kept glowing and songs of praise were chorused. It was the most beautiful rendition ever.

Tuesday 13 September 2016

Rachael (7)

Marian was shocked that David would come to see her. If he wanted to see his daughter, today was a bad day. Rachael had been missing for some hours now and nobody could ascertain where she was. David stared at Marian with a very piercing gaze. He could see she was tired. He was ashamed to be in her living room after over seventeen years. He had not done well in treating her. Looking at her now, he felt remorse. God had to have a plan in this. He turns all things to work for our good. He had a strong impression that morning to look for her and he did not know that his efforts would pay off quickly.

'I am sorry to barge in on you unannounced. I just felt deeply that I had to see you. I asked your friend Margaret for your address. I guessed that you would still communicate with her. She was the only friend I remembered." He said with calmness picking his words one at a time. Marian was still trying to come to terms with the fact that David was sitting in her living room than she was actually listening to him. "What can I do for you?" She asked because she felt that was the only logical thing to say. "First, I want to apologise for the past... We were young, I should have taken responsibility of what I had done but there are some things I will be opening up to you that might shock you, so I want you to please prepare yourself..." He said and licked his lips and rubbed his palms together. That was what he did when he was nervous. She excused herself to get him a cup of water. She drank a glass full herself before bringing a tray with a bottle of water for him. This would be a long night.

"Marian, you are more special than you give yourself credit for. I was working for someone all the while I was with you. We were charged with various objectives but more so, we were charged to some specific women who you can describe as divinely special. You could call it a cult or a group of people who had some twisted ideas but we worked for 'The Boss'. You have a godly father who did not always get things right but it was more of your grandmother, your Father's mother. From the day you were born, she had covenanted you to God and never stopped praying for you. That was what made you special. You had a mission to the world and we needed to stop it. I was sent to get you out of safety. We inflicted poverty so that you will find solace in a rich young guy like me. I was supposed to ensure that you did not get to do that task, Getting you pregnant was one way but you met someone you should not have met and messed up the plan. You met Emmanuel..." Marian's eyes were wide open in shock.

Eric woke up and felt his body on the cold hard ground. He had failed but he planned to make it better. If Rachael was with Emmanuel. he would have to draw her out. He would have to find her weak spot and pull her out. He would not fail. He would have to fulfil the mission, even if he died doing it. 'The Boss' watched him from across the room. His eyes were still very red and Eric pulled himself up."I will bring her to you no matter what it takes."

Monday 5 September 2016

Rachael (6)

Rachael woke up and wondered how she got to the bed. She felt light headed and realised that she had not eaten anything in the last few hours. She stifled a yawn and looked at the window. It was quite dark. She wondered what time it was but she could guess it was quite late. She heard a knock on the door and jerked in surprise. "Come in." She sat up and waited wondering who was coming in. Emmanuel worked in with a tray of food. "You dozed off after your prolonged silence. I brought you in here and prepared you something to keep your energy up. It used to be your mum's favourite." He brought the tray to her and she accepted it with a smile.

The way he talked about her mother amazed her. She knew her mother's friends but this man was strange. She had never met him and he had never visited if he did, she would recall his face. She opened the covered plate and saw a steaming plate of yam and egg with bottled water beside it. It was her mum's favourite food and now she knew more than ever that this man knew her mother. She took the fork and took a bite. It was the best yam and egg she had ever had. As she enjoyed the taste of the food in her mouth, she remembered Emmanuel's insinuation of her pregnancy and dropped her fork. "How do you know I am pregnant?" "Like I said, I know these things... Besides, I think it is time for you to start doing things right. First, you need to know that your life is really not yours in the first place. You never authored it and you can't finish it."

Rachael was still. Her appetite suddenly vanished. What could she do to turn the hands of time and make things better? "Why do you resent your mother Rachael?" The man looked at her intently and it was like he was staring into her soul. "I feel my mother sees me as the mistake she made and because I remind her so much of her errors, she seeks to turn the hands of time in her life by bothering me, I sometimes blame her for bringing me into the world unprepared, I had to go through school feeling inferior without a father and not been able to stand with my rich mates hurt me so much and I blamed her. I blamed her every single day." At this point, Rachael allowed her tears to flow unhindered.

Eric was restless. He had combed the area and no one seemed to know where Rachael went. He was worried that Rachael would do something stupid and he would have no choice but deal with her. His phone rang and when he saw it was his father who was calling, he ignored and laid down on the bed. His mind imagined what Rachael was doing now or who she was talking to. Any word from her would be his downfall. She did not go home at all and now everyone was frantic looking for her. Then there was The Boss. He had been working with him for quite sometime. Eric was in charge of the locality where he lived. The Boss had specifically asked him to ensure that Rachael stayed within his embrace. The girl was too hurt at home and that was what he used as a platform to get her within their grip. They had a mission. They had to corrupt "The Sent Ones".

When Rachael and her mom moved into the locality, The Boss had told  Eric about how much Rachael would be valuable to them. They needed to get her. The Boss told him of how David had failed in his task to secure Marian. Rachael must be secured. His plans were going on smoothly till she found him murder someone in cold blood. The lights suddenly went off and came back on within seconds. There was a knock on the door. Eric opened. The Boss walked in. That was the darkest suit Eric had ever set eyes on. He looked into his eyes. His eyes were burning red. He stumbled. He had been hit. He had failed. He held his chest. He fell on his knees. He had failed. The look on The Boss' face said it all. "She is with Emmanuel, you incompetent fool!" The room went black.

Friday 26 August 2016

Rachael (5)

Toyosi was worried. Eric had barged into her house demanding to see Rachael but she told him that Rachael had not come by her house at all. The call from Marian had made her more nervous. Where could Rachael be? It was unusual for her to disappear without her letting someone know of her whereabouts. Toyosi was more worried that Rachael and Eric must have gotten into a fight because Eric's face was not a friendly one when he came to the house. Rachael didn't hold her cell phone and so no one could reach her. The last time she saw Eric's face like that was when she saw him beat up a young man on the street. She had since then known that Eric was a dangerous guy but Rachael was too blind to see the signs. She tossed from side to side on her willing sleep to come but she could not shake the feeling that Rachael was in some big trouble and more scary was that she felt strongly that Rachael was alone.

Marian had called everyone she could call that could tell her about the whereabout of her daughter but no one seemed to know. People had help comb the streets looking for Rachael but no one had seen her except in the early hours of the morning when she cleaned the shop and opened it up for business. Marian had called her Pastor who had advised that she get the police involved. Marian had her own troubles in life but she greatly feared that Rachael was living the same life she did. She sat down exhausted mentally and physically. Pastor promised to alert church folks so they can be on the look out for Rachael.

Marian's mind journeyed back to when she first discovered she was pregnant. She was so afraid of telling her father that she ran out of the house. She knew that her father was literally going to kill her. He barely had enough for both of them and now she was going to add another child into the already tight corner. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her. She had no idea where she was going to but she kept running. Then a car pulled up in front of her. It was an elderly man with a cream coloured senegalese outfit. He bent his neck so he could see her through the passenger's window. His smile calmed her down but she was nervous at the same time. "Where are you going young lady?" He asked."I don't know where yet but I just want to get out of here as fast as possible." The man opened the door and she slid in. He drove off and then she dozed off.

A knock woke her from her reverie and she stood quickly to open the door. Standing at the door was a young man. He really hadn't changed much. Still rugged in his look and stern. What was he doing in her house? She then realized that her mouth had been opened for some time. She hadn't seen him in 17 years and there he was standing in front of her out of no where. "David." She let out his name with a deep breath. "Hello, Marian. Long time, no see". The father of her child had come to her house. Things couldn't get more strange.

Wednesday 17 August 2016

Rachael (4)

She woke up with a splitting headache. As she struggled to make out where she was, she could hear the sounds of birds. She raised herself up and sat up. The room was basically bare but neat. It was painted in sky blue and there was a table and chair opposite the bed with a small book shelf hanging on the wall with unevenly arranged books. The bed was quite soft and she knew she must have slept for a very long time. Where was this place? She stood up from the bed and tried opening the door. It was not locked. She saw that the passage was long with two doors on each side. She saw that the passage had a door at the end which was opened and she walked towards the opened door. It led to a small garden. She met Emmanuel seated on a wooden chair reading a book. It was quite dark but the security lights were on. The lights gave the beautiful flowers planted in the garden  a warm feel and made the garden more beautiful.


Had she been kidnapped? What was this man's interest in her that made him bring her into his home? She had so many questions to ask him. She moved to where he was seated and asked, "Why did you bring me here?". He looked up from his book and smiled. "Thank goodness, you decided to wake up. This is my house and I thought it was the safest place for you to lay low from whatever or whoever you are running from." "You are alone?" She asked with disbelief. A man his age ought to be married. "It depends on how you look at it. The fact that there are no visible people here now doesn't mean I am alone." He drew a chair to his side and tapped on it indicating she should sit, "Well, care to tell me what happened that made you start running like someone competing for a medal?" She sat and narrated the whole story to him. She felt weird and comfortable at the same time. Here she was in the middle of nowhere talking to a complete stranger. After narrating, she felt the urge to ask "How do you know my mother?" She hadn't forgotten about his admitting to knowing her mother. Strangely, she had never met him before, neither had he come to visit nor did she remember her mother mentioning him to her.

"Well, we should be talking about your safety first but I will tell you that your mother and I go a long way back. But it can be dated to when you were born. Your mother needed my help and I was there to assist. You look a lot like her. She speaks to me everyday about you. I know she cares about you a lot but you really don't care much". Rachael turned away from him and was quiet for awhile wondering how much her mother had told this strange man about her. She bet her mother told him how nasty she was and disobedient, complacent, unchristian and selfish. "My mother and I don't get along well because she always insists on my doing things her way. I am tired of being treated like a child." The man looked at her and smiled. "Then stop acting like one Rachael. You seem to think the world must revolve around you all the time. As much as you are looking out for your own interest doesn't mean your mother isn't. You just fail to see..." He looked up and looked back at her. "Rachael, God is also looking out for your own interest too. You are too self absorbed that you interpret the love others have for you as them being over bearing. Life is beyond the now dear Rachael. You know, your mother had you at eighteen?"

Rachael looked at him and it was as if the man was staring at her soul. She felt too open and she didn't like that at all. "I figured that out already. But that doesn't mean I will get pregnant at my age. I am doing all that is necessary to avoid that. I just don't want her judging me all the time. I am a woman already. I can make my own decisions." She suddenly felt exhausted talking with this man. It was like he was draining her. She felt a sharp pain below her abdomen. The running must be the cause of the pain. Emmanuel smiled. "Well, dear woman who can make decisions, this is where one of your wise decisions has brought you. Plus, you have made the same mistake your mother made. You are pregnant at eighteen." Rachael held her stomach, "What! How dare you insinuate such a thing! I have been very careful. Don't say such ever again. Are you a doctor? How can you conclude without necessary tests?" She was so angry now that she stood up. The man's calmness unnerved her. "You can call me a doctor, I won't deny it. You have been asleep for over six hours. I have helped quite a number of women who were somehow in your situation. Lets just say I know these things." Just then, Rachael remembered that her period was late by three weeks. She sat down slowly on the seat, her hand still clutching her stomach and her mouth open staring blankly at the fence. She was going to be a mother to the child of a killer who was out to kill her too.


Tuesday 9 August 2016

Rachael... The story continues...(3)

She kept running and was so scared to look back. She had just witnessed a murder carried out by her boyfriend. She couldn't go home because that would be the first place they would look for her. All she wanted was to get far away from there and blot out every memory of what had just happened. She look the next turn by the left. It was quite a lonely road with bungalows separated by trees and small fences. She only saw a man jogging with his dog. She wondered if people stayed in the area. It was way too quiet.  She really hadn't come to this path before. She couldn't think clearly. She just kept running.

Eric sat down watching the lifeless body on his carpet. He was to pick Rachael up from Toyosi's house. What was wrong with that girl? She was full of surprises and had not envisioned that she would surprise him today of all the days for surprises. The room was quiet and he could read the minds of the boys. They wanted to know what he would do next. The option was to get Rachael to be quiet. Well, he could threaten her or he could kill her too. Threatening seemed like the best option but he didn't know if he could trust that she would keep quiet. His boys were watching him. He could not afford to show weakness. He had to do something. He had to make sure Rachael kept quiet. He walked out of the room. The boys began to wrap the dead body with a blanket.

A car pulled over and stopped her dead in her tracks. She was panting. She was afraid that Eric had caught up with her. As the door opened, she took to her heels again but the voice stopped her "Wait. Don't run. I want to help you". It sounded like an elderly man. She felt she knew the voice but she couldn't place where she had heard it from. She turned gently. There was something about him that caused her to feel more at ease. His face had a soft smile that just made her believe that everything was just ok. She heaved a sigh of relief but the comfort she felt just staring at the man made her uncomfortable. He looked like he was in his sixties but he stood so tall and attractively handsome. He wore a cream coloured senegalsese outfit that gave him more height. She shook her head out of her reverie when she remembered that Eric was after her. "I don't know you sir." She said glancing back and forth to watch if someone was on her tail.

"Rachael, I know you very much. In fact, I know you are running from someone and you need help. We need to go now". People spoke of angels but she usually laughed it off but as she looked at this man, she felt as though her guardian angel had appeared in the flesh. "Please sir, take me far from here, I am desperate. I don't know if I can trust you but right now, I seem not to have a choice..." She walked briskly to the car and opened the passenger's door and entered. The man slided in too and put on the ignition. As they drove off, she then realised that the man had called her by her name. "How do you know my name. We have never met." She asked though looking at the side mirrors to ensure there was no car following behind. "I know your mother and she is a good friend of mine. My name is Emmanuel." He knew her mother? That was just what she needed, A man to take her straight to her mother's fury. However, she feared for her mother. If Eric was as vicious as she had just witnessed, her mother would be in danger too. She and her mother had their problems but she would die if anything happened to her. "Don't worry, your mother will be fine." Emmanuel said with a smile. Now, this man began to scare her.

He could read her mind or was this man just weird? She was silent. Her heart was still racing. She stifled a yawn. She suddenly began to feel dizzy. Everything became hazy. "Please stop the car."But before she could hear a response, all she could see was blackness. Emmanuel accelerated. His work had only just begun.

Monday 25 July 2016

Rachael (2)

It was past 10am. Rachael had told her mother she would be visiting Toyosi and spend the afternoon with her. Since her mother would not tolerate her visiting Eric, she had resulted to lying. What did she get for being honest? Her mother pounded and hounded her and she was really tired of fighting. It was exhausting. Eric would pick her up from Toyosi's house and they would go to the beach for a small get together Eric's friend was organising. She was giddy with excitement and couldn't wait till she was out of the house that was suffocating her. She needed to breathe.

Toyosi's house was bigger than hers with a very large front yard. She loved the serenity that came with the house. Asides the location of the house in GRA (which is the location of the wealthy), she wished she had the freedom that Toyosi had. Toyosi's father was never really around because of business trips but he spoilt her with money. Toyosi had all she wanted and needed. There was no one screaming verses of scripture and disturbing her with the need to attend church activities. Toyosi was third out of four children and two of them had chosen to settle in Sweden. Toyosi would be alone at home at the time she was to meet Eric which was why she agreed to allow them meet at her place. Eric said they would leave for the party around 1pm. She looked at her watch it was almost 11am.

Rachael felt she could surprise Eric at his place instead of going to Toyosi's house. She could hang around there till it was time for the party. Eric was the centre of her world. She wanted to be with him for as long as she could. She remembered their first night together. Though, she wanted to wait like her mother said every good girl should, Eric was not ready to wait for her. She had imagined that it would happen in a cozy environment with dim lights and music but Eric would not wait for such arrangements. It had happened in Eric's friend's truck parked behind a school. Eric had insisted and she had no choice. She felt powerless in his arms. During the act, she felt the eyes of her mother watching her and she trembled with guilt but the pleasure she was experiencing outweighed any feelings of guilt that her good conscience wanted her to feel. After that night, it had become pretty regular. She wondered why it usually happened in odd places. The last time, it happened in Danjuma's market stall. Eric had the keys and took her there not caring about her own preferences. She could not deny that she felt cheap after that but Eric kept reassuring her that his love for her constantly set him on fire. Besides, being Eric's girl was enough. His rugged handsomeness made every girl crave for him. She was a lucky girl, she thought.

Eric's head was bowed. He held his Cigarette tightly between his fingers. He was so angry that the idiot, Dennis would make a fool out of him. Watching him lie on the ground all beaten up was not enough to calm him down. He felt a throbbing headache but the matter at hand needed to be dealt with. Ola paced around the room in giant strides. Eric's room was not tidy because he never really stayed much in his own house. The posters of half naked women were plastered around. His lights were all blue colour giving the room a dark feel. His sound system was opposite the bed and a table top fridge that held all the booze was at the right corner. He really did not keep much in the house.

Dennis was lying almost unconscious on the carpet which needed a change. The floor had not been swept for as long as Eric could remember. He had tied Dennis' hands tied behind him and his breathing had become very unsteady. Marcus, his right hand man laid on the bed with a gun placed on his chest. He just wanted Eric to give him the order and Dennis would be dead. He owed them some money. He had taken merchandize worth over two hundred thousand naira. He had not only refused to pay but he thought he could hide. Eric was not the person to hide from because he had his ways of sniffing out rats from their holes.

"Give me the gun." Eric quietly ordered. "Finally! Jeez...! I was beginning you weren't man enough to end the guy. I don tire to dey look you." Marcus handed the gun over to Eric and stood up. This would be fun. It would send a message to others who thought they could take them for a ride. If Dennis got killed, all who owed them would pay back as soon as possible. The thought of money rolling in and the respect they would get made Marcus more excited. Ola stood now. He was a bit shaken but did not want to show it. He also craved the respect that being part of the gang offered him. His life had been too difficult and joining the gang seemed to make his problems go away. He however never bargained for taking another man's life. "Maybe we should give him some more time, I think after this, he would pay up" Ola said quietly with his head bowed. The silence was broken with the sound of thunder. The rain was warming up for a very big downpour. Marcus eyes glared with anger as he looked at Ola. "Oh boy! When you take join us? Do you know how we roll?" He had to control his rising voice. He felt Eric's hand on his shoulder cautioning him to be quiet. Eric looked at both men. His eyes stone cold. Ola was scared. It was as if a demon had possessed Eric. Eric walked to where Ola stood. Their eyes locked for five seconds. Eric turned. His hands held the gun at the perfect angle. A shot was fired. "Hi Eric!" The door opened. Rachael gasped. Her bag dropped. The world stopped. Marcus waited for Eric to do the needful. Eric was dumbfounded. Rachael was at the gate, her hands were quivering. She did not stop running. She had just witnessed a murder.


Thursday 21 July 2016

Rachael...

The morning was still young, the cool breeze swept through the room sending a shiver down her spine. She drew her blanket to cover herself  properly. Rachael tossed and turned on the bed but was not willing to get up. She could feel the softness of her bed and the soothing effect it gave her. It felt like her little heaven. The previous day had been a tough one. She had fought with her mother again. Well, that had become a constant event in the house and she was not going to beat herself about it. She turned to the left side of the bed where her electronic clock was. It was just 5:30am. She should have been up by 5am if she wanted to catch up on chores and meet up with Eric for the rest of the day.

The thought of Eric made her giggle. The young man had stolen her heart and she wished he would keep it in his care for as long as he willed. People misunderstood him but she knew him better than anyone else. People judged him and criticized him but she understood him. She loved him. Her mother would never understand. Why can't people understand that Eric meant no harm to her. He cared about her and she believed it. He drank a little and partied hard but hey! it was not as bad as people made it look like. Who doesn't like a little fun?

Eric was having a tough relationship with his very demanding father and the way he blew off steam was with a bottle. He was at least a lot calmer after he had his fill. Eric's father was to blame but in the society, elders are always right. "I have my own life to live and my own decisions to make. If people don't like it, then they can escort themselves to hell". Rachael thought. She would not allow her mother run her life or dictate what should be in it and not be. "I am eighteen and old enough to make my own decisions." She got out of her bed and stretched with a loud yawn. The day was going to be good. She went to the bathroom with a smile. A smile of love... She was in love!

Marian sat on her sofa just opposite her bed. The bed lamp was on and she began to wonder if she should repaint her room. She watched the curtains lift themselves up and gently come down as the wind kept coming in. It was a chilly morning but she doubted the wind was the cause of the chill she felt in her heart. Rachael defied her every chance she got. She felt this terrible fear that crippled her anytime she thought about her daughter's decisions. Her own life flashed before her. Her daughter was going down the same path she went. She remembered David and how she loved the bad boy in him. She would sneak out the window to see him to avoid her father's trouble and sneak back into her room in the early hours of the morning. She enjoyed the adventures with David. The rides and parties they had enjoyed made her forget all her worries. Well, momentarily. She loved that he prefered her to the other girls in school. She was not the prettiest in school, her father prevented her from using make up and so she felt so privileged that David would choose her despite her low income status and not so pretty face. Her father sold newspapers and did not make much. Her brother was serving in the military and was far from home. Marian remembered all the fun she had with David and how she felt true freedom.

In David's embrace she felt free. Her father was just a pain in her neck. It was like he followed her every move. Never really allowing her breathe or even do what other girls did; like go to cinemas, parties, and just have fun at sleepovers. In the evenings, he would make her read the Bible to him. She would read from one chapter to another till he fell asleep. God allowed her father live like a pauper and yet her father served Him with zeal. Her father had suffered too much. Her mother had left him to marry some rich sailor because she said his Bible would drown him in poverty. She knew in her heart that she blamed her father for her mother's actions. Maybe that was why she wanted to stay with David. David's father was a well known business man and if she could get along with David well enough, he might just marry her out of the poverty she has been cursed with. David was her saviour. The twists of life showed her how wrong she was.

She jumped out of her reverie when she heard a knock on her door. "Mum, I need the keys to the shop to clean it before the day brightens up". Rachael stood with arms akimbo as Marian opened the door. Marian went in and opened the drawer by her bed to get the keys. "Did you sleep well?" Marian asked her daughter. "Yes. I did" Rachael answered as she took the keys from her mother without looking at her and walked away. "I am going to lose my daughter." Marian whispered and caught a tear before it flowed down her cheek. It was too late, her other eye betrayed her. She allowed her tears flow freely and closed her door.

Tuesday 19 July 2016

Less complaining, More Thanking...

It is so easy to see what is wrong with the world and everything around and not remember that life is a mixture of the good and the bad. We always have reasons to get angry and critical over matters but if we decide to really look deep, we will discover that life still has beauty in the midst of so much ugliness. In school; at home, at work or wherever we find ourselves we must learn to appreciate the good things we have.

Your father may not always be around when you need him but at least, you have a father. So many people will give anything to have a father figure. School isn't as fun as you would want it to be but believe me, some people would die just to have a sneak peek into a classroom. Your mum tends to use a whole tablespoon full of salt in her meals but at least she is cooking! Complaining comes easy but recently, I am beginning to see complaining as a sign of weakness.

It is a sign of weakness because those who complain never really do anything and it seems like the easiest thing to do rather than change the situation by actually doing something. We complain about everything and forget that life is so large and everyone has a part to play in it. Anyway, Lets come back home to the crux of this discussion. I want to appeal to you to be more grateful for your little blessings. And if we really look at them honestly, they are not little. God is faithful to His children and wants us to have a heart filled with gratitude.

So next time you want to complain, remember your blessings. Remember that after every rain comes sunshine. You are alive and at the best time of your life. Being young is such a blessing! You have a lot ahead of you and for you. Life is beautiful. Despite all your problems be more grateful that you are not there alone. God is there with you and will see you through. Less Complaining, choose to go down the road of gratitude!

Thursday 14 July 2016

Leave me alone!

I hear you loud and clear! That moment when you just want your parents to stop breathing down your neck with what you should do and not do. Believe me, it's not easy being where you are because parents don't know that you are no longer a 'child' and you think you are an adult and they don't see you in that way at all. Can't they just leave you to do your own thing and be your own person? Well, they could but they won't. Well, maybe not now...
No matter how grown you might look; muscular, six-packed, bearded, tall or if you are a lady, fully developed on all sides and even in the early stages of University, you will always be their child. I always tell teens, you will understand when you are a parent.

Every parent is protective of their child and wants what is best for them. Their approach might not always be the best but the more you understand they love you, it is easier to tolerate them. Truth is this, you really don't want to be left alone. Anyone who is alone will tell you they crave some sort of company and wish they had someone who could help them take decisions. God does not intend for anyone to be alone. Life is about people, friendship and bonding. The first bond you had is with your family and it will still be the strongest bond.

Parents are there to guide and provide the right counsel. Avoid telling yourself that you don't need anybody. Life gets cruel and you need someone to help you through those times. You need your parents to help you make the right choices. You need their advice on schools to pick or any other academic pursuit. The devil will take advantage of your aloneness. The Bible records that in the multitude of counsel, there is safety (Prov 11:14). We need not just our parents but good friends. When God created Adam, He said, it was not good for man to be alone. Though that scripture is quoted during weddings, God lets us know that man needs people around. Your parents, siblings and friends are the people God has put around you to help you.

Asserting your independence doesn't mean alienating people from your life  but knowing that while the ultimate decision lies with you, you need them to make you see things from different angles and your decisions are better informed. At this stage, you know a lot but not all. Don't fall for that lie of the enemy that you don't need anyone. You need God because without Him, you can do absolutely nothing and you need godly people. Whatever you do, don't be alone!

Tuesday 12 July 2016

You have a right to be angry!

We all get upset at some point. If you have siblings who can't stop getting on your nerves or parents who never know how to talk without shouting, then you very well know what it means to be upset. Being upset is normal. In fact, if you do not get angry or upset, then we will be concerned. It is part of the human condition in fact, even God gets angry. Jesus got angry and drove the buyers and sellers out of the temple. So, it is not a sin to be upset or angry over things you do not like.

However, how we react during those moments is what is key. I have been talking about how we should handle issues that confront us in situations when the home is broken and I know that everyone has a fair share of problems whether at home or in school. You have every right to be angry but not to remain angry. I always ask a question, what would happen if God always stayed angry with man because we deserve His anger, if we want to be fair. He was so angry with man that He wiped them away from the face of the earth and kept only Noah and his family. Despite God's anger, He still found it in His heart to love man.

Things will always get you upset and angry but it is not wise to take them so much to heart that you become resentful and bitter. It is not even healthy. Malice and bitterness are not the kind of feelings you should nurse because they grow into very unpleasant things like depression, violence and even promiscuity. If you have a friend who has made it a constant assignment to make you angry, ask God to help you manage such friends. You could try to find out more about them because a lot of them are acting out their own pain too. Some may be hurt deep down inside that they find it difficult to relate with other people. If you would ask God for wisdom, you might just be surprised that they are not as bad as you think. Do things for them even when they did not ask for it. Love breaks people. Ask anywhere, it is so true.

If the friend still is unresponsive, love them from a distance because your emotional well-being is important too. Avoid relationships that weigh you down more than they lift you up especially after you have put in your best to make the relationship work. God understands when you are upset. He understands when you just want to punch the walls and break the chairs and that is why you can go to Him and ask Him to help your heart. God loves you!

Friday 1 July 2016

Not my parent!

So we have been talking about how we can manage our reactions when we are in broken homes. Today, I would want to talk about those step parents that are not nice. I first started in my previous post 'Evil' Steps that no one can really take the place of your biological parents because no two people are the same. However, I will not pretend that I do not know that there are some step parents who do not even try their best to love or take care of you. Most times, you find yourself wondering how to handle the situation. It becomes terrible when your biological parent in the marriage doesn't believe you or just think you are whiny and seeking attention.

If you are a christian in a Bible believing church, please I beg you to seek counsel from your pastor or relevant authorities. Do not die in silence especially if there is any kind of abuse going on. I would also suggest that you do not pay evil with evil. There is a strong temptation to fight back when we feel oppressed or angry. That is very normal. However, as teens that belong first to Christ, we should do what Christ did. He did not repay the evil men did to him by sending down angels to strike them dead. He did not fight back during the times of humiliation. This does not in anyway show stupidity, it simply shows the wisdom of God because good always wins.

Every time you want to retaliate, think of Jesus and His response to the people who wanted to kill Him. Respect your parents no matter how hard it can be. It is a biblical injunction and the God promises you long life if you obey your parents even your step parents inclusive. Avoid trouble with them the best way you can. You won't be in that house forever. Do not talk back at them and this is when you will have to learn self-control which is a fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22).

It is important you allow this process draw you closer to God because He is the greatest father; He promises to be the father to the fatherless and a mother to the motherless. Lean on Him for support. Pray and pray and again I say pray. Ask God to help you love them and give you strength to carry on. He is the one that lifts those who are bowed down (Psalm 145:14). I will also advise that you get engaged in something productive that keeps you busy because lonely moments can be depressing. Join good clubs, read good books, take a vocation class or whatever and keep yourself busy. Have a 'Can do' attitude because you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. You will go through this and come out stronger.

For personal counsel, reach me through my email: onomeonwah@gmail.com. I will be glad to personally respond to your questions.

Monday 27 June 2016

'Evil' Steps!

Hi people! I have been talking on how to handle broken home situations and I want to talk about one very important aspect which is 'step' relations. Parents can decide to re-marry after a divorce or even death of the other spouse and as the children we feel that the new spouse is coming to take over the place your mother or father once occupied. It can be really hurtful as we watch our parents transfer the love they once had for their spouse to another person.

So lets make a basic affirmation, no one can be like your real mother or father. This is because no two people are exactly the same. In as much as this holds true, you should give your step mother or father a chance to be the parents they can be. We already have a preconceived idea that step mothers and fathers are wicked and uncaring. So we have this set mind that nothing our step parents do is enough or we just despise them irrespective of their efforts.

What fairy tales tell us about evil step mothers is not always the case.
I must say that not all of them are the best but you need to know that you should respect your parent's decision of remarriage. It is usually a big step for them and they really are interested in what you feel. Look at it like this, some day you will go to college, get married and all that, your mother or father would crave company. Loneliness is very terrible. No one can take the place of your biological parents but some try to be the best as they can be.

Fairy tales tell us about evil step mothers but in real life situations it is not always the case. Don't make your new step mother/father uncomfortable by being horrible and grumpy. Remember what we said about loving all the way. Give them the opportunity to know you better and understand that change is not always a bad thing. Do well to pray for them and especially about the choices your parent may make about remarriage. Ask God to lead them. Whatever you observe that makes you feel uncomfortable, try talking it over with your biological parent with wisdom.

In my subsequent posts, I will talk a bit more on handling the not so good steps. Please, life isn't always about you. Learn to think about others like your parent's happiness is something you should consider too...
God bless you!

Wednesday 22 June 2016

Love all the way...

So, I have been talking about being a teenager in a broken home and I know it is quite an ordeal. Truth is, we can only watch as things unfold because these matters are predominantly about our parents. But how we react in face of all of these is what I want to drive at. Most times there is a tendency to hate one of our parents because we think the whole issue is caused by one of them. You think it is your mum who nags a lot or you think it is your dad who doesn't seem to care about how your mother feels. It could even be deeper than that.

Whatever the situation is, I urge you to please love your parents in spite of their faults and 'irresponsible' attitudes. This is like a hard one but it is the best way to go through hurt and pain. Love is a powerful force and does not only help in changing the person you love but it changes you. Jesus understood this when He urged that we love and forgive. The greatest gift Jesus gave to us was His love. Despite all our faults and weaknesses he chose to die for us. He loves us deeply even though we are many times unfaithful to Him.

Let your goal be to love all the way in spite of the troubles.
Your parents never got married with the hope of getting separated later. Believe me, no one wants a broken marriage but as things went on, mistakes were made. And in fact, I dare say that they love you despite their personal issues. I need you to ask Jesus to help you love your parents even though they have hurt you just like Jesus loves us even though we still hurt Him sometimes.  Don't join the 'blame train' by constantly blaming one party for all the problems. Pray that God will help them work out their problems and that you will be the good and responsible child you should be.

When they see the maturity with which you handle this, they are drawn to the love of Jesus through your life especially if they are not believers. You can win them over to Jesus if you will allow Jesus help you love them. Let your goal be to love all the way in spite of the troubles.


Romans 5:8 (NIV) "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Monday 20 June 2016

Don't Break!

I am writing today to those who face the despair of being raised in broken homes. I can't say I totally know what it feels like but I can tell you that God knows better than I do. What I have however discovered is that some of you from broken homes tend to feel responsible for the break in your home. You feel it is because you were born that is why the mess in your homes have happened. That is very far from the truth. Do not blame yourself for the mistakes or problems that are solely the responsibilities of your parents.

Please, don't break.
I need you to know that your birth was planned by God and He designed you for a reason. Don't despise your parents either because God chose them as your parents. He knew what He was doing. I know this can be hard but I know that God can see you through this. Listen, your home can break but don't allow yourself be broken in the process. Please, don't break. I know it can be tough moving from one house to another because of visitation rights but choose instead to be better through all of these.

Don't try to heal yourself by doing drugs, drinking and being rebellious to drive a point to your parents. They only drive you down the path of depression and you are destroying your life in the process and believe me, it will hurt more than you can imagine. Believe me, choose to believe in the love your parents have for you even though they have not been able to solve their own problems. Enjoy their company whenever you have to be with either one of them. Pray a lot and if possible seek counsel from good christian counselors. Don't make rash decisions and don't hate your parents. God enjoins us to love even when we don't feel like it.

Occupy yourself with things that can develop you socially, mentally and spiritually. In my subsequent posts, I will talk about this matter a bit more. I just want to let you know that you are special in God's eyes. He loves you immensely. You need to know this deep down because it will help you through the doubts that you have about your parents love for you.

Jeremiah 29; 11(NIV) "For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you , plans to give hope and a future". This is a promise and it is so true!




Thursday 16 June 2016

Solitude can be a gift...

I came to this conclusion after I discovered how much I could maximize silence. Make no mistake though, sometimes silence can be deafening. Honestly, as we grow especially during our teen years, we get so busy. We get busy with school, church, family, community, social media, television and all that life has to offer. It would seem like we can't break away from all the responsibilities that call us especially mum's voice calling us to do very annoying chores. Did I hear an amen?

However, we get so wrapped up in all these that when there is a time when we are by ourselves, all alone, we get uncomfortable. For some of us we have tied our lives to all these things that a bit of quiet can be terrifying. When there isn't school, chores, games or even when internet connection is not available, we feel the world has ended. We are used to being occupied. It is not all together a bad thing besides, the idle mind is the devil's workshop they say.

I had to understand pretty early in life that silence can be a gift if you maximize it well. I once listened to someone who called it the gift of solitude. It was during those times when I was not on my phone chatting with friends, not running errands, not busy with so much church stuff that I began to discover who I really was. It offered me time to think through a lot of things like my future plans, my decisions and believe me those were the times I had very brilliant ideas about what I wanted to do.

Cherish every time you get t be by yourself.
A lot of people ask questions like "What am I born to do? How can I make an impact in the world?" These are really deep questions that demands a get away time to figure them out. Not only do we get to think during these hours of solitude but we get to pray also. Jesus had to get away from all the noise once in a while to commune with His father. In the same way, God wants to communicate with us and give us brilliant ideas for the future if only we would learn to be still, to be quiet.

Cherish every time you get to be by yourself. Get acquainted with your self and with God. Remember there is a balance to it all. Do what you have to do (I mean responsibilities) but always carve out time to be by yourself. You will be amazed that you can also enjoy your own company besides God is the greatest company you can have during those quiet moments. Ask Adam and Eve...

There is someone out there...

Today as I read my Bible (James 1:27 NIV) which reads, "Religion that our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.", I realized that there are people I need to look after other than myself. I realized how I have been preoccupied with my own needs that I failed to see the needs of others.

I was glad for the gift of family and love. I also realized that not everyone was blessed with this gift of family. Most times we get so caught up in the things we don't have and forget to thank God for the things that we have. Orphans wish everyday they had the love that you have. Widows wish that their husbands were still alive. God sends us to those people to show them love and care. You might ask, what can I do for these people? You can begin by praying. Pray for orphans around you that the Lord will envelope them with His love. You might have one or two of them in your class, make up your mind to do something extra nice for them. Invite them for your parties or surprise them on their birthdays.

Stop looking at yourself all the time and start looking for someone you can bless. It doesn't have to be a million dollars but it can be a million dollar smile that they need. You can suggest to your local church that they do something for orphans at least once in a year. God loves them too and they need to know that. There is someone out there who needs you!
There is someone out there who needs you!
If you are in this with me, lets say a prayer:

Lord, we pray for orphans who are in dire need of love and family that you will envelope them with your love. We pray that you comfort and keep them. We pray that you will find us as useful vessels to bring these ones to you. Comfort those who are being ravished by war and hunger. Send help to them Lord and help us be the help we can be in our own little corners. This we ask by faith in Jesus name. Amen.

Wednesday 15 June 2016

Wait a minute!

I remember when I was in my early teens I wanted to grow up so fast. I enjoyed watching my big cousins use makeup and wear fancy clothes. I really wanted to be an adult and fast too. My mum was just the problem. I could not even use a lip gloss except during dry seasons. I could not do certain hairstyles or wear certain clothes because my mum was just not going to allow it. Tiring isn't it? I was a big girl and deserved some independence and I would sulk and whine but my mum would just not give in.

Have you been in my shoes? I bet you have. Even as a guy, you want to cut your hair in a certain style and dress in a certain way that shows your big boy status and it is irritating when your parents breathe down your neck. "I need a break!" I hear you loud and clear brother! I understand you sister! But, wait a minute!

I am an adult now and I have had to look back and I am grateful that my parents did all they could to make sure I waited a little longer to experience the freedom that I wanted. One reason is that there is plenty of time to do all that hairstyle and use all that make up. It is important you enjoy your innocence and grow into maturity. When you arrive at that point, you are able to use freedom wisely. Rushing into things has never had the best results. Things that are good usually take time. You should use your teen years to discover who you are and begin to form basic principles for yourself that will guide your adult life.

Take your sweet time because adulthood will come and guess what, when you get there, there are times you would wish you didn't have all the responsibilities that comes with it. Enjoy the time you have with your family now because adulthood sometimes separates us from home. Enjoy your natural hair now 'cos a time will come, you will get tired of maintaining artificial hair because they are so expensive. As a young man, allow yourself grow. Focus your energy on things that really matter such as academics, family and God. Allow yourself be formed. That is what our parents are trying to do. Truth is, their methods may not always be the best but their hearts are right. Enjoy where you are even though you are moving to where you want to be.

Just Wait a Minute! For everything there is a season... Ecc 3:1

Accepting Me

Everyone craves to be accepted for who they are. We hate criticisms and just want to enjoy the love and the care everyone can give, This is natural for everyone. Sarah felt like this too and it really hurt when her school mates laughed at her plump stature. She was upset that God made her fat! She wanted to wear the skinny jeans that her mates could wear and she wanted the constant mockery to stop. "Hey Sarah! you might want to have another plate of food to cater for the extra stomach you've got!" Danny would say to her at lunchtime and this would cause an uproar from other students. Sarah had just had enough!
You are good enough, don't forget it.

Sarah strolled home head bowed and really sad inside. She was following a strict diet routine laid out by her mum but it seemed like forever before the effects became visible. Then she noticed someone was walking closely behind her. She stopped and looked behind, it was Mr. Ken. He lived on her street and everyone loved him. He always gave a helping hand to anyone who needed it. She smiled "Hi, Mr.Ken,". "Hello." He smiled back. "You are not happy today, I can tell." Sarah really didn't feel up to talking but she needed a friend right now. "Well, yeah... Had a bad day in school today as usual. My friends won't stop laughing at me because I am fat!" Mr. Ken smiled. "Are you fat?" Did he think this was funny? Of course, she was. Everybody said so. She looked at him puzzled about what he was getting at. "Listen girl, you need to define yourself for yourself and stop letting other people tell you who you are or what you should be. The sooner you accept yourself for who God has made you to be the better you would feel. Do not grant anyone the pleasure of belittling you. You are as beautiful as beautiful can be and only your true friends will accept you for who you really are."

Many of us are like Sarah. Just because people have a certain expectation of who you should be does not mean that you must be that person. Accept yourself as you are, perfections and weaknesses together. Build on your perfections and work on your weaknesses. They are the things that make you unique. There is no one else on planet earth that is you. God specially made you to be you whether you are short, tall, dark or light skinned. Accept your difference from others as your uniqueness and find how you can use it to be a blessing to others. Remember, when God created the earth he said everything was good. When He created you, he said you were good. That is all the verdict that matters. Accept yourself even if no one else does. The real people will come around!